What Is The Missing Peace In Your Family Puzzle?
Does your family have discord, disagreements, hurt feelings, being mean to each other or down and out fights? So what is the Missing Peace? Every family can make list of missing peace and usually there are missing pieces to working things out together as a family. Sometimes we get stubborn and will blame another person for issues and maybe it is that other person's mistakes, choices or behaviors that affected us in one way or another and then there are choices that we make that complicate the family peace even more. And then it gets messier because family members triangulate and try to get people on their side of the issue and now there are more people in the original complication. Now there are more disagreements and the next thing you know - issues are blown way out of the initial issue. People are taking sides. The issue is now buried in a towering pile of other issues and it can't even be found. Now feelings are in the way and justified actions. Finger pointing. He said. She Said. Justifications for staying angry and the list goes on and on. Now the issue looks more like this. A puzzle with the outside pieces all put together which represents the family. But the inner pieces are scattered, piled up, some have fallen on the floor and some are being pushed into places that don't fit. So, now what? There is no peace and not all the pieces of the family fit together. So where to begin. First, take a step back. Look at the original issue with the original person. Next take a look at your personal responsibility in any part of the issue. Next, do not include people in the conflict that don't belong in it. Regain some peace by putting pieces back where they belong. Then start by having a conversation without accusation. Start with a dialog without yelling, belittling, dirty fighting (bringing up old issues), and stick with the issue at hand. Stop texting to work out issues! HUGE peace mistake. Talk, listen, take responsibility where necessary, look for the good in the situation and the other person (if you are looking for the bad...you will find it.) Then ask yourself if you need to be forgiven or maybe you need to forgive. Forgiveness has no strings. It's not about the other person as much as it is making sure your inner peace is not robbed from you. Sometimes people don't deserve our forgiveness. But, it is about not letting anger rob you from peace. Holding onto justified anger does nothing but rob you from the peace that should be yours. Remember no one else can give you peace but you shouldn't let anyone take it away either. And you should not take anyone else's peace. Take off the gloves. Put clear boundaries for yourself and your relationship. Put the pieces of your life back together with the Peace that fills the heart so the heart is not filled with anything else. Peace to You.